How Mary-Sue Got Her Groove Back or Caitlin's Twilight Film Review

Once upon a time there was a bored young woman called Stephanie. One day, Stephanie decided to turn her mind (an arguably blunt instrument) to writing teen fiction. And what better thing to write about than her own richly romanticised and deeply sexual fantasy life.


It's quite a common phenomenon for authors to insert sort of avatar or idealised form of themselves into their writing, and this is particularly common in magic-realist, fantasy, and teen drama tales, especially when written by young women (sorry ladies, you know it's true). Stephanie Meyer's Twilight slips neatly into this category and the result is one of the most blatant Mary-Sues (self inserted character) in the history of literature.





Similarly to my Beedle the Bard review, I must say that my love for Harry Potter, which many not-quite-academics say has had its throne usurped by Twilight and its three sequels, has coloured the way I read the book.


A friend of mine was quick to exclaim "it's syntax is identical in every sentence!" which is not as much of an exaggeration as one would think. The narrative flow variously drags and races in places, it misses the mark when it comes to philosophical dialogue about the nature of the vampires' cursed immortality, and the romance between MaryBella and Edward (cue fangirlish shrieks here) is so implausible even before we consider the fact that he's 108 and drinks blood.


However - it is undeniably addictive. Another friend of mine told me that he found its page-turning quality second only to Da Vinci Code, but not as clever...





... which is definitely saying something.





Anyway, the point is that the book is just a little bit rubbish. It's a trashy good read at best, a mind-numbing waste of paper at worst. My own opinion on the novel is somewhere in the mid-range of these extremes, which is why I approached the recently released film adaptation with a healthy amount of skepticism.


My expectations were that basically the film would be sexy, glamourous, big-budget slick, have a seat-wetting effect on teenage girls, and be pretty much soulless (excuse the pun), but it turned out that I was not completely right - there were things I expected and things that (pleasantly) surprised me.


The production values came as no surprise - everything was very smooth, everyone was very young and beautiful, and some of the aerial shots screamed "look at our big budget!" I was really impressed by the special effects for the exact opposite reason to the one you'd expect: there was something really wonderfully understated by the way the vampires' supernatural powers, especially their fast movement and diamond-like skin glittering, were rendered.


I appreciated this because of the way the rest of the film was presented visually.


Let me eat my hat for a moment and admit that the film was beautiful. It was slightly over-exposed and grainy, and the colours were filtered in high-contrast to emphasise pale skin tones and dark hair, making it perfectly moody and gothic. I cannot emphasise enough how aesthetically pleased I was by the film, even before you add the cast of superhumanly beautiful young people.



And my, how beautiful they were. Honourable mentions go to Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, Alice, played by Ashley Greene, and the two fathers of the story, Charlie and Carlisle, played by Billy Burke and Peter Facinelli. Both of them were just a bit gorgeous for old men.



But anyway, past the supermodel casting, there was some value to the film. It definitely caters to the tween audience for whom the book, with its simplistic, prosaic style, is written, however it is clear to me that Meyer's story is only improved by the shift in medium. The change from reading to seeing suits the narrative perfectly, as it allows us to appreciate the romance and action without having to deal with Bella's endlessly simpering eternal monologue that narrates the novel.



Let me before I conclude sing the praises of lead actress Kristen Stewart - she is simply, naturally beautiful, writes and performs her own music, and most of all gives Bella a voice and presence that turned the Twilight adaptation from fucking ridiculous to decent in my mind. I really enjoyed her performance and I'm very much looking forward to seeing what she does in the future, within and without the Twilight saga. But mainly without, if I'm honest...



Twilight is a very entertaining film, and its art direction is worth commenting on. It plays, expectantly, to its intended teenage girl demographic, and as such is no tower of artistic integrity, but I'm sure that will come as no great surprise.

Much of the praise I have for the film is only in comparison to the novel, but I do truly think that the story works better as a film, and if you're into very beautiful people and very beautiful cinematography, it is very worth seeing.